what am i to you?

i'm reaching a weird (or maybe uncomfortable is a better word) point in my adjustment to life in texas. there have been a few times these past couple of weeks that i've felt a strong sense of belonging here, in texas, in austin, at ut. but i've also been equally overwhelmed by my feelings of first year inadequacy and loneliness. i guess this probably comes as no surprise to those of you that know me. witness my first semester at ND, and my first semester at western. it takes me a while (apparently, about a semester) to settle into a new place. i'm really missing the life i left behind in k-zoo. maybe more so because i know it's no longer there to go back to. friends have all scattered around the country by now. but still, i miss the friends i left behind (even more so, i miss those who have left me behind). it's not as bad as it could be here. the folk are friendly, although more competitive than i anticipated, so there is hope at the end of the line, but just right now it seems far away. and dude and paul are here as well, and soren is trying his hardest right now to remind me that a kitty is better than any smelly old philosophers.

let's just say this isn't the easiet of times.

::if my sky should fall
would you even call?::

settling...

well, i think i've been here long enough that i can start to come out with some definite opinions on my classes and classmates. i think it's definitely a mixed bag.

aristotle (which, admittedly, has only met once) i think will be good. at least its a class with fellow ancient people, which is quite refreshing... it can feel lonely sometimes out in the analytic world. however, the prof. does talk so quickly as to be unintelligible quite a bit of the time.

phil. of mind promises to rock, i think. despite (or because of?) the sometimes quite harsh british commentary from one prof. we're reading some good stuff, it's going along at a nice pace. i think it'll be good.

and then there's the first year seminar. so far, absolute diasaster. the title of it is analyticity. so, it's all analytic-synthetic distinction garbage. (obviously, it doesn't help that i think a lot of philosophy of language is meaningless garbage.) so, most of the stuff we read is horrid. and the stuff that is close to being any good gets attacked by the most inane arguments i've ever heard, but because we're doing hard-core analytic philo, they get termed 'good.' and really, i don't have the energy to play the game. i've tried before (like in some of my classes at western) and i just don't have the energy to do it most of the time. consequently, after the last two classes i've found myself desperately in need of a beer (or two, in the case of last night). so, here's hoping i survive... and that i find a paper topic.

as far as the peoples go.... yeah, that too is a mixed bag. there are a few who are absolutely awesome, many that i'm neutral towards, and so far only one that annoys me to peices. not bad, actually, for a group of academics. after all, we do have our reputation of awkwardness to keep up.

crikey

as ridiculous and over-the-top as he always was, i really loved the crocodile hunter, and am genuinely sad that he's gone.

since i last posted, lots of stuff has happened. going backwards: i finally got a real bed! no more air mattress for me! i am sleeping off the floor again and loving every minute of it. now, if i could only restrain myself from online shopping for new comforters.... i don't need a new bedspread... i don't need a new bedspread....

school has started officially now. i've gone to the class i TA for twice. it's a philosophy of religion class, which is weird for me, cuz i've never really done any of that stuff. and it looks like i'm going to have an insane amount of grading to do. i'm just grading for another student, not a real prof... but apparently he goes insane with the homework. seriously, insane. i've only had one grad class thus far. it was my first year seminar (obviously, required for all first years). the title of it is 'analyticity,' which loosely translates into 'way more phil of language and epistemology than a danielle can reasonably handle without exploding.' the first class was funny though. mainly it consisted of the boys going "blah blah blah, phil. of language jargon terms, blah blah blah, this is so cool" and the girls staring at them and then saying things like "this doesn't make any sense" or "why does this matter" or "that's dumb and implausible." it should make for an interesting class. (and yes, we really did have that kind of gender split, and yes, the boys do seem to be those kind of annoying analytic philo geeks.)

kiwi has been having a whole set of issues all her own. she had tapeworm, those are gone now. but she had an upper respiratory infection, which led to a urinary tract infection (you know, they clean themselves), and she also had coccidia at the same time. so, right now she's on two different antibiotic drops and an antibiotic eye ointment. in case you've never tried it, take my word, there is nothing more fun than shoving drugs down a fiesty little kitty's throat three times a day. but, in seven to ten days, she should be free of all these little germies. until then, she's quarantined in joey's room. soren misses her, he spends a bit of every day mewing outside of the door, hoping she'll come out. and sometimes, she gears up and makes a break for it and paul and i have to go running all over to chase her down.

tomorrow, our own internet service will turn on. no more stealing from the neighbors. yay!