twilight

after i posted last night i read through some of my old posts and i was amazed to see how often i've complained about grad school on this blog. granted, i haven't written that much since i came down to texas, but every time i do write, its to be unhappy about grad school. at any rate, next semester should be somewhat different. i'll have an advisor, i might even have a prospectus topic. its definitely a chance for me to turn over a new leaf, perhaps even get excited about what i'm doing.

right now, though, i'm not doing much of anything. today i played zelda instead of packing. even though i really ought to be packing. we sign a new lease on saturday, and have to be out of this apartment by the 8th of june. so it seems like a lot of time, but it's really not. i have to pack, i have to move, and then i'll have to clean up this place. i'm already fairly positive that we'll get charged for the carpet, so i need to make sure everything else is as clean as possible so i don't get charged even more. i am excited to move, though, and have a chance to rearrange all my stuff... and throw out all the junk i've accumulated over the past couple of years. once i get going, it'll be fun. but in the mean time... i stay up too late at night and i play too much zelda during the day.

tomorrow. i'll start working tomorrow.

moonlight for my spread

remember when we all used to blog and blog often enough that we could keep up with each other's lives by reading blogs. yeah, that was pretty neat. i went through my springtime nostalgic phase a couple of weeks ago(and yes, it does seem to come every spring), and i have so many positive memories from this blog that i came very close to resolving to blog again. nothing came of it, of course. tonight i just happen to be a bit too awake.

just got back from a movie, went to see the new indiana jones with some grad school people. overall, i was rather disappointed. i don't really remember the older ones, it's been too long since i've watched them, but this one was gimmicky to the extreme. almost every scene had some ridiculous gimmick or incredibly contrived dialogue which i was probably just too tired to appreciate. oh well. so, overall, not the best start to my new resolution to be more social within the department, but a decent try, i suppose.

right now i am oddly tempted to stay up for at least a couple more hours. heaven knows why. but, it has been a good long while since i've had my last voluntary all nighter (or anything close to it). too bad i really don't have anything to do, except clean and pack. we'll be moving soon, and i'm not nearly ready. or, at least, i'm not as ready as i want to be. i guess i could play zelda all night... but the dogs are asleep, and maybe i ought to be as well.

i plan on writing more in here this summer. we'll see how it goes. i have no other plans for my time, but i tend to be the most idle when i have the fewest demands on my time, so we'll see how it goes. i am supposed to work on my german, keep up with my greek, and get through a rather intimidating reading list given to me by prof. M. i do plan to so at least some of it... i am still working on being a good grad student. that transformation is still no where near complete. and with the loss of so many more of my cohorts, i get discouraged daily. you know, for all that i complain about grad school (and since i've been at UT, i've complained a lot), i begin to doubt that i will ever leave. for one thing, what would i do? i've been in school so long now i don't think i'm suited for any sort of employment. on the other hand, i never really feel that i'm quite cut out for it, i don't have the same passionate interest in my field that my fellow students seem to. but still, i haven't left, and i get the feeling that one day, i'll wake up and have a phd and be quite surprised about it, really.

as leopold once told me, though, once you have tenure, then you are free, then you can do anything.

i plan to ride horses.